


I'm Scum (And I'm Your Son)

by Gigi_Sinclair



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 19:52:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6342826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigi_Sinclair/pseuds/Gigi_Sinclair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the tfa_kinkmeme: "Leia sees Kylo and Hux kiss... but instead of feeling like she's lost her son to the Dark Side, it gives her hope that there is still Light in both of them."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Scum (And I'm Your Son)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Robbie Williams' "Come Undone", because there is no line more appropriate for Kylo Ren than, "So well-trained, so animal, so need your love, so fuck you all."
> 
> Dedicated to my son, who is not at all scum.

The Resistance has saved Leia's life more times than she can count.

She means that literally, of course, but also in a figurative sense. It has given her a purpose, a reason to carry on when she wanted nothing more than to shut herself away forever. When she lost her parents and her planet, when she lost Ben, when she lost Han. The dedication of the Resistance, the pride she feels at their successes and the desire—the imperative—not to let their myriad sacrifices be in vain are what keep her going after all these years. 

“General Organa.” She looks up as Poe Dameron enters the small room that serves as her office. “Some of the surveillance footage is available for review.”

“Excellent.” Leia stands. The damage to the _Finalizer_ created an opportunity they couldn't pass up, and of course, there were courageous men and women in the Resistance willing, even eager, to take on the severe risks. Under the guise of a repair crew, a small group of Resistance faithful boarded the ship and planted bugs. The bugs were active only a short time before their discovery, thankfully after the team was back safely, but in that time, they managed to send several hours worth of footage to the Resistance base. 

“Have you found anything useful so far?” Leia asks, as she and Dameron walk to the conference room. 

Dameron hesitates. She turns to look at him and he smiles, but it is a weak shadow of his usual exuberant grin. “Dameron?”

“Some, ah, some of it is difficult to watch, ma'am.” 

Leia sighs. “Of course.” He was there, yet another victim of torture at the hands of the First Order. (She has to stop herself, even now, from saying, “the Empire.” Their empire is long gone, and while she lives, it will never rise again.) She places a hand on Dameron's shoulder, a show of what she hopes he sees as gratitude and solidarity. His smile strengthens, a little, and they go into the room together.

A group of her advisers have already gathered. From their stony expressions, Leia assumes they have already watched the footage. Perhaps it is indeed grim. Well, she has seen the worst the First Order has to offer, time and time again. There is nothing that will shock her now. 

Admiral Ackbar, her old friend and ally, speaks first. “General Organa. We have yet to examine all the footage, but we have found a segment that may be of particular interest to you.” 

_Particular interest._ Leia doesn't allow her hopes to rise. Instead, she keeps a neutral tone. “Why is that, Admiral?”

He doesn't mince words. He never has. “It features Kylo Ren.” 

So he is alive. Leia's heart flips at that, as any mother's would. Without knowing who Ben was, Rey had told her Kylo Ren had likely died on the Starkiller base. Of course, Leia could not hold it against her, just as she could not hold anything against Chewbacca. 

Now, Leia suppresses her emotions and squares her shoulders, the competent general in front of her troops. “Then let's see it.”

“There is perhaps another warning...”

“Let's see the footage, Admiral. Please.” Whatever it is, however Ben is scarred or maimed, she wants to see him for herself. She needs to. Admiral Ackbar nods, and a holo image appears in the middle of the table. 

It's not Ben. It's General Hux, the First Order's would-be despot. Would-be emperor, perhaps, but he won't get the chance. He's no Palpatine, Leia can see that. He's a little boy in a position too advanced for his years, a lover of rhetoric and genocide with no true capacity to lead. Leia has nothing but contempt for him. Still, she watches as he sits at a desk, gazing at a datapad. “This was taken in the general's office,” Ackbar says, unnecessarily. As Leia is about to ask if they were able to retrieve any classified information, Hux stands, looking at something out of view of the recorder. The assembled Resistance officers watch as Hux takes a step back and Ben comes into view. 

He is scarred. Leia sees that instantly, even though the holoprojection is less than crisp. Rey told her about it, how she marked him with the light saber and, again, Leia cannot fault her for it. Kylo Ren is a monster, he deserves to resemble one. Even so, as she looks at him, Leia sees the baby she cradled while he slept, the young child who loved building blocks and flying with his father, the youth who claimed to hate everyone and everything but still sidled up and stole hugs when she least expected it. _My son_ , Leia thinks, and she knows he always will be, no matter who he is or what he does. 

There is no sound on the projection. They watch Hux and Ben talk silently for a moment, then Ben steps forward, crowding Hux. For a moment, Leia is certain he is about to strike the general. Then he grabs Hux by the front of his jacket, yanks him forward, and presses their mouths together. 

Every eye is on her, but Leia could not look away from the projection if her life depended on it. Hux's arms go around Ben's shoulders. The kiss goes on and on, becoming softer and more obviously tender. Ben moves his hands to the other man's behind, and in a practiced movement they've clearly done many times before, Hux jumps up, his legs around Ben. Ben lifts him onto his desk, never breaking the kiss. Hux touches Ben's face, his ears, his hair, fondling and caressing. Ben pulls back far enough to turn his head and kiss the palm of one roaming hand. He unfastens the collar of Hux's uniform and, suddenly, the projection freezes in place. 

“I do not believe we need to subject you to the rest, General Organa.” Ackbar never has much of an expression, but Leia knows he is concerned for her. They all are. She is their leader. She needs to reassure them. If she reacts with strength, they will continue to be strong, and they must be strong. 

“Thank you, Admiral.” Leia takes a deep breath. “Thank you all. Excellent work. This is very valuable information. It shows us a weakness, and weaknesses can be exploited.” She smiles at them. “Please, keep me apprised of anything else you may discover.” She walks as slowly as she can toward the door. She wants to run, but of course that is impossible. _Princesses never run_ , her mother's voice tells her and, even at her age, Leia has to obey. 

She worries, briefly, that someone—Dameron, perhaps, who always means well—might follow her, but nobody does. Alone in the corridor, she allows herself to lean against the wall, a hand over her mouth to catch any scream or sob that might escape. She hasn't been this happy in a long time. 

_He's not lost._ Her comrades wouldn't understand it, but they don't know the Force like she does. The Dark Side thrives on hate, feeds on it, needs it to survive, and what she has just seen was not that. Nor was it pure lust. She can tell. She doesn't care who Ben was with. It could have been a droid, a bantha, a Hutt, it doesn't matter. Ben still has love inside him, he can still express it. Kylo Ren hasn't won. Not yet. 

_And he's not alone._ Ben has somebody over there, a friend at the very least, perhaps a partner or a...spouse? For many years, Leia has lain awake at night, wondering where Ben is and how he feels. If he's lonely, if there is someone—anyone—who cares about him. Clearly, there is. Hux has killed billions, but if he loves Leia's son, then Leia cannot declare him entirely evil. He and she even have something in common. Five minutes ago, Leia would have thought it impossible. Now, her hopes are renewed and it seems like anything might happen. She allows herself to form thoughts that have been forbidden for a long time. _I might hold him again_ , she thinks. _He might come home one day._ There would be consequences to face, of course, and Ben might not come alone. But she will welcome him home, along with anyone he might bring with him. She longs for the chance. 

The Resistance is what keeps Leia going, but it's the renewed hope of saving Ben that puts a spring in her step as she heads back to her office.


End file.
